زبد

ترميني تنهيدةً في بحر الغربة
لأضيع سدىً... كزبد البحر!
يحملني الموج عالياً أحياناً
و لكن على أقدام الصخور
دائماً أنتهي
زبداً..


بين المد و الجزر
أتمرجح بين الأمل و الخيبة..
و خيبتي أنني ما زلت أتأمل
و أنت.. أنت كالأمواج تتقاذفني
كمترو هذه المدينة
يلقفني من محطة إلى محطة
لأذوب على الأرصفة
زبداً..

Greenpeace Vs Facebook

http://www.greenpeace.org/international/en/campaigns/climate-change/cool-it/ITs-carbon-footprint/Facebook/
I actually love the video, and I do support alternative energy. But at the same time, "picking up" on Facebook is not what would really change the world, because the half a million supporters of the campaign like the little cute boy and the funny story board more than the cause itself. And if Facebook does unfriend coal in the end, you will still have the daily oil spill in Nigeria that is rarely mentioned anywhere. I know that we can argue saying that it's better to start somewhere. And it is smart to start with Facebook, since you get around 620,000 supporters after one week only of launching the campaign. I just hope that Greenpeace will be able to use this visibility to raise awareness to other environmental issues. And I hope that out of the half a million "likers" of the video, real supporters who can bring a change to the world would emerge.

Facebook and blackmail

Don't get me wrong, I do like facebook. No, not because it helps me bond with my old friends from school. And no, not because it helps me keep in touch with family who are spread in different corners in the world. Mostly, and yes I admit it, and no don't pretend you're better than this, because of GOSSIP. Facebook is a gossip space without the incriminating part. Let's imagine this situation: You're sitting down in your living room, reading a book, the hero of the book reminds you of an X person. You wonder what happened to this person now. No need to call a common old friend (that you don't really like, but what can you say, curiosity is a real problem!) and engage in mundane conversation to open up the topic of X. No need to wonder for a long time! You facebook X, find X, add X, and have all the info you need to know. Of course it doesn't change your life. of course it doesn't add anything to you, and no your social network is not really worth dollars, and your connections can never be really useful when you need them, so don't fool yourself. If you're lucky, X could be interested in playing Farmville and could earn you lots of money (or eggs and milk, or whatever you earn in that game), VIRTUALLY.. No more no less..



But, nevertheless, facebook is becoming more and more a blackmail tool. "If you like your mom, press like, and join", so if you don't like this group and if you don't join then it means you don't like your mom! How awful you are! Of course, you can pretend not to see these type of news feeds! But eventually your mom will find this group and will share it with you, and then let me know how you will get out of it!



But sometimes, you can outsmart online blackmail. Your third cousin gets married you have to say congratulations even if her husband looks like a total looser, and even if you never really had a good relationship with her. Then she gets a child and she posts his pictures. You pretend not to see the pictures. Then she tags you in the album! Escape that! So, as a strike back, you comment: "Oh, what a cute baby, he looks just like his father!" Your mom calls you and asks you to delete the comment because the father is obviously ugly, and your comment is just causing more problems between the families.. In order to avoid further obligations from your cousin and further undesired contact you keep your comment. But of course you remain friends on facebook!



And then of course, you have the status of husband week, mother week, sister week, friend week, cat week, neighbor week, Boyfriend week, best friend week. Ironically no wife week, no brother week, no father week.. No comment there! Of course you have a news feed saying that 46 friends changed their status into this, or more, you try not to cave in, you feel guilty.. And sometimes you just say: what the hell, it's just a status, i can be all mushy mushy sometimes!



As for the bra color status! Yeah I'm sure it raised a lot of awareness! Well at least all of your friends who are on your facebook list are now AWARE of at least one bra color you have, exception goes for the ladies who answered "none".. But I agree, we had no choice, if we failed the cause, who would have supported it? Da!

L'amour... en langue étrangère!

So you think you can blog?

During my childhood I always heard this expression "shhhh, walls have ears". And so, several political topics were banned from discussion even in the privacy of our living room. But I was never influenced by this paranoia, and I was never convinced that I could be persecuted for asking questions inside my house, or expressing my opinions. And so I grew up on the idea that the previous generation suffered from the civil war and that they are stuck on practices long dead before the end of the war.

So I blog normally, it's true I rarely have political posts, but it's not by fear. But I respect all kinds of blogs. It's just like a graffiti wall where people express themselves. Some in the hope of a change, other in the hope of touching a life, many simply by need of expression. Most of us are persecuted by our social environment. A lot of us don't find someone around who could be interested in some topic, or cause. So we blog, because we know that someone might share our interest, our fear, our hope.

I read today about Tal el Molohi. A 19 years old girl imprisoned last year for blogging in Syria. I was intrigued to know what did she write to deserve this sentence. So I looked for her blog. I don't know which is more shameful: imprisoning a student for blogging in general, or imprisoning her for what she wrote.

http://latterstal.blogspot.com/
http://palestinianvillages.blogspot.com/
http://talmallohi.blogspot.com/

I guess this is just a more modern way to create paranoia among citizens, for the newer generations who think they can talk! Just another way to teach people that the world may have stepped into a new century, but in this part of the world, the system is the only one to decide when minds can progress.

...

1 minute of silence is in order..

N.B: several bloggers are imprisoned around the world in almost every totalitarian regime. Unfortunately, in the Arab world we suffer from this injustice in almost all of our countries.

Home and Elsewhere..

Home is that place you die to get out of it.. And you fight hard to get out of it, most of the times..
Elsewhere is that place where your dreams come true.. The place where you can do the impossible..
Home is that place when you're not appreciated enough, when you're not motivated enough, and when you're always underestimated..
Elsewhere is where you're the successful powerful person you want to be.. The only place where you get to be in control, and to get it right..
Home is that place that is only good to be buried in.
Elsewhere is the only place where you can actually live in..

Home is the only place you miss when you're elsewhere.. And elsewhere is the only place you think of when you're home..

The fear of our unified identities..

I was reading this article: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/22/AR2010072206154_3.html?sid=ST2010072206297
And I couldn't help but stop at this sentence: "The company's ethos implies that people should "have one identity -- that perhaps it's unethical to present one identity at the office and another at home, or one face at the golf course" and another at a party, says Kirkpatrick. Maybe everyone should know us as the same person, whomever we decide that is online.

Maybe we are afraid of our own unified identities? "

Maybe we are.. But ti doesn't only happen on Facebook.. It was happening long before Facebook in our daily life, and is still happening.. But to be honest, there are very few brave people who don't cave in to social pressures, and still be all they are in front of anyone, anytime.. Society mostly labels these people as: asocial, weirdos, rude, freaks.. To be polite, we say: they lack social skills.. What is the definition of social skills?

Well one of the many web definition, the shortest one, is "the ability to interact with other people and to function in groups." Hmm.. To interact, as in acting mutually? And the word of the day is "Function".. Another intriguing term to qualigy social skills.. Because to function implies having requirements as well as a manual.. The manual is usually called manners, and the requirements differ from one group to another.. Ok I agree that in some groups the usual "manners" are not really the right code of conduct, but we're not dealing with exceptions here..

SO here it is.. Facebook didn't change the world.. We have always mutilated ourselves to fit better in whatever place we wanted to fit in.. And the rules to fit in? There isn't.. The rule is to simply imitate those who seem to be there before you.. We don't call it lies and deception.. We simply call it social skills.. For the first, they were known as the survival skills.. But we're too civilized to admit that we are still that primitive..

Bipolarism

There are two types of answers: yes or no..
There are also: north and south, east and west, hot and cold, black and white..

But the fact is, there's a whole lot more choices laying between extremes, and most of the time, it's in this between area that we pick our answers, our clothes, and our friends.. Still, I find it fascinating that after thousands of years on earth, thousands of life experiences, we still define life as simple as day and night, light and dark, good or bad, right or wrong..

I just can't help but wonder where did this "bipolarism" come from? Man and Woman? What about those who are born with both genital organs? We evolved to 3D, yet we still define everything based on 1D axis.. The beginning and the end! Ironically all the action you get at the beginning is having your embryological cord cut and a big pat to get you to shout your lungs out.. And the end, well, no matter how diversified the possibilities are, it always ends in silence.. Maybe this is what life is: a big scream, and then one day, the time comes for you to simply shut up.. Maybe this is the simple explanation of our tendency towards bipolarizing, we subconsciously relate it to life and death.. But we fail to notice that we have lots of other things happening along the way..

From here to anywhere..

My last two nights in my country..
I'll be coming back of course.. for visits..
Between my one year in Bahrain and a lifetime anywhere but here, I realized that the civil war is not over.. Lebanon in the mist of arguments and settlements and treaties is too busy to become a country.. a state..

There's a before and an after..
For those who saw Lebanon before the war, it's a shame that the "Switzerland of the Middle East" was shattered like this
For those who only knew Lebanon after the war.. Hmm.. No image of a better Lebanon to rely on.. A struggle for the very few who want to create a country..

And there's in between.. Those who grew up in the war.. Those who don't recall the glory days, but aim for ones.. Either they or their dreams died during the war, or they both did..

I didn't live the war.. I was too young when it ended. But I still remember when René Moawwad was assassinated. I cried.. I was 5 years old, and before anyone says anything, just while watching the breaking news in silence.. I knew that it will be long before it really ends.. So I cried.. In the common sense of a 5 years old, everything was clear.. Clearer than now at least..

Two nights and two days away from leaving.. I leave during the night as well, leaving my Lebanon asleep, some areas with electricity and lights, others shut down completely.. Leaving Lebanon in the dark. Countries look nicer at night.. As you fly above things are simple: light vs. dark.. One big constellation of light gives you a smile makes you feel that men exist, and man expanded.. Darkness makes you think of all the adventures you could have trying to conquer these virgin lands.. no distinction of mountains and valleys.. simply a darkness until you cross over a new constellation..

I leave Lebanon in the darkness.. When politics and religion are asleep.. There's only people who are asleep versus those who are awake.. Sneaking in the darkness to avoid the thoughts of a country that has little to offer me, and my family.. In the darkness when there's only one criteria for differentiation: People with lights, and people without lights!

Good Night

The night passes slowly.. Slower than usual, these days.. As if it's offering me all the time I need in the day, tempting me to go back to its realm, to my nocturnal life. But the day is when people live, and I chose a different path now, less lonely, less dark. Yet, creatures of the day seem to be more frightening than the ones of the night. Everything is more simple in the darkness, everything can happen in the darkness, with no consequences, with no thoughts of a tomorrow, with no thoughts of others. No judgment, just you and the night, conspiring against the world, winning all the battles.

But I'm a day person now.. So long all the battles I won, so long all the stars I burnt.. All the nocturnal efforts to lure me are in vain.. Only one thing left to say: Good Night!

Between insomnia and paranoia..

There's nothing worse when you write than the first sentence, this sentence.. The sentence were I should grab your attention to follow through until the last word. But tonight I don't care if you read or not.. I just write to distract myself from the noise of my neighbor's AC! Not that it's working, but at least seeing this white space getting filled with characters, meaningless as they are, is easier and less mentally disturbing than laying in bed, eyes wide open, counting the rounds of the engine humming, loud I may add..

Tonight, I don't write about grief, nor sorrow, I just write about frustration. Frustration and insomnia. About the trillions of thoughts that run through your head just when you need your mind to be clear. And all those yoga classes that should be paying off by helping you concentrate, by helping you organize.

The funny thing about "disturbia" is that when you experience a moment of peace, you're not relieved! You simply get paranoid, wondering what's the real problem now, and waiting for that humming to go back to assure you that everything is back to normal; and that you'll experience another night of insomnia, of frustration, and eventually of insanity..

And the best is yet to come..

Sorry, but: There IS a difference between Christians and Muslims

Every day or two, I receive a request on Facebook to join a group dedicated to all those who love God, or to all those who love the prophet, or to the first 1000 who love the prophet, or to those who are against differences between Muslims and Christians, or that group about uniting Muslims and Christians, or those who hate Israel, or those who want to save Palestinians, or those who want to change the image of Islam by "showing the world how real Islam is" on Facebook walls. I'm sure that there are plenty of those groups for all religions, and all types of religious conflicts, but since My circle of friends happen to be centered in the Arab world, I receive mostly those who "tackle", if that's what they think they're doing, the Muslim-Christian issues, or the Israel-Palestine issues.

Of course, like all other requests, they annoy me. In fact the only groups I join are for those supporting young talents from my friends, or a friend's friend who opened a restaurant. Not that I've been in any of them, or seen the work of any of them, but it's just to show some support. And I leave other 1000 people other than me, show their love to this or that.

But what really strike me most of the times are those very patriotic group, who tend to show how solidly united citizens are (especially in Lebanon) by saying "there's no difference between Muslims and Christians" or vice versa. I just don't see how that can help people come closer together. This slogan of "no difference" what does it really bring to people? Why isn't it "there is a difference, hell yeah! But that's not the problem"? Is it just me who really strives to be unique in my own way in a world of over 6 Billion people? Or is there other people who also are proud of their differences? But anyway, it's not about individualism. It's about ideologies.

So what is exactly the problem if two religions are different? What is the problem if someone is a non believer and the other is a believer? In What way does that make one or the other less human? The problem is not the difference, the problem is the tendency of people to alienate everything that is different from them. First, they run to label themselves in groups, then they try to make everyone else seem stupid for not seeing that they're the right group, the chosen one. Then oh chosen ones, decide to be generous with people, in order to help them find peace, or sometimes to be in peace themselves, and they pretend that we are not different. That we all believe in the same thing, that we are alike.

What I still don't understand, is why do we label people based on beliefs? And why do we strive to be unique, then kill it all by wanting unity, by resorting to similarity. This need to belong, to be homogeneous, to be part of something bigger, to be part of a group. This basic human need that made the first man carve in a stone to create a statute to worship, to feel that he's not alone. This need, is really something intriguing, in this is what still stands, after years and years of evolution.

Happy 2010

It's a habit at the end of a year to look back as you look forward.. 2009 was a long year with a long list of changes, of disappointments, and of achievements as well..

2009 taught me that I love my country more than I thought I did. It also taught me that there's a big world outside the door, and you will never understand, and you will never understand how big it is.. So no need to waste your time..

Speaking of time, 2009 taught me the value of a second. A second spent with the love of your life, a second spent away from home, a second wasted in patience. It taught me that time is a marvelous concept, unique in the way you lose it as soon as you have it.. And you waste it just when you need it..

Need, is what you should be careful about. Never be in need of a selfish person even though being very independent will not get you more than loneliness. Know that you need some people, and that you need to ignore others.

Others are just those you don't even need to remember their name. They are this parasite that annoys you at times, and could suck the blood out of you at others. But you will often find the right antibiotic.

A right antibiotic can also be the right life partner. They do have their own magic powers capable of curing you of all the boredom in the world, all the depression, and can easily resolve, with one tender look, your deepest dilemmas.

One of the dilemmas I encountered in 2009 is the dilemma of whether to use the first cabin in the toilet or the last one. A lot of people use the first cabin of the toilet because it's the first. But then, a lot of people believe that since a lot of people think the first is most used, they use others instead, so in the end a lot of people avoid using the first which makes it the cleaner one. So is the first one really the best choice in terms of hygiene or the worst?

Worst moment of 2009 was when I ended up alone in a country I don't really like, suffering stagnation and vulgarity, far from the person I want to spend my life with, and far from the people I spent my life with up until 2009..

Up until 2009 I thought that when people shake their head and say "no problem", it means that they got your point and are going to proceed. Apparently it's not.

It's not a rumour: I am getting married in 2010; 2009 was a good year on the personal level even if it's disastrous on the professional one.

One - Just because someone keeps repeating that they're your friend, it doesn't mean they really are.
Two - Just because some people like to hear themselves, it doesn't mean I like to hear them too.
Three - just because you feel left out, it doesn't mean you're second best. A Number one donut is not in competition with a Number one coffee..
Four - If you don't feel like growing up, don't force yourself, just don't expect people to treat you like an adult either.

Five, my most valuable advice for 2009: never order a spaghetti in a Filipino restaurant!