خربشات اعتباطية

سئمت من الجزم و النفي، من الضم و الكسر.. سئمت منك و من وجودك الاعتراضي و من كيانك الذي لا موقع له من الإعراب.. سئمت من هذه الهوية الخافضة للشرط.. التي لا مكان لها في الحاضر، إما فعلٌ ماضٍ، و إما أمال للمستقبل.. هوية لا تتحقق أبداً، لا قبل الجزم و لا بعد النصب. و لا حتى اليوم.. مجرد قواعد لغوية، و بلاغة زائفة!

Diaries of LaLa PrototypeX - VIII

I noticed today that my prototype body does not eat, I no longer even dream about food, and I don't think I've smelled any during my life here in LaLa. Maybe our bodies just function on solar power, consider I'm not sure if we have a sun or not, maybe we're automated. We still sleep, or maybe not. I'm no longer sure if I sleep. I rest. At night. When the light bulbs shine. And then all of a sudden it's the next day. I think I sleep, even if for few seconds.

But going back to not eating, it's not that I miss food, because I don't feel like I need it, but now that I thought about it, I'm trying to remember what food looked like on earth and how it tasted.
I turn to Coucou and say:
- "Where you there when we had food? I wonder how it tasted like!
- SHIT!"

So here you go, I got my answer. I think Coucou has a lot of wisdom, but sometimes he's just too aggressive, especially when I try to be nostalgic. As if Earth has a big scar in his memory, or maybe as if he's trying to protect me from remembering my own scars.

All I remember of my life on earth are the very simple things that makes no life, just facts; as if I've never lived there, as if I only read about it somewhere.. long time ago.

Should I remember? Or should I move on? Ironically both hold the same meaning for me, both represented the unknown.. An unknown I'm not even sure I want to get to know.

Same but quite different!

It's another Sunday, yet, a different one.
It's another war on TV, another rerun of another movie, another political show, another tense family conversation, and another Sunday meal..

It's really just another normal day, like any other Sunday, yet, it just feels different.
I used to be more rational before, if there are no evidence of how different this day is, then it's not different.. But the more I grow, the more I start to believe in the power of the "feeling". And it just feels different. Maybe it's just the different haircut.. Maybe it's just that with all the similarities, each day is somehow different, you're older one day than the day before, and one week from the Sunday before. Even if it's the same movie you watch for the 10th time, you somehow manage to notice something different, something meaningless most of the times, but it's just different..

Every day, no matter how boring it may seem, brings a new kind of boredom with it.. A new kind of repetition of the days before..

To war victims of all times..

Several ethical questions arise at times like the ones we're witnessing now with the war on Gaza Strip. Regardless of whether it's justified or not, because I personally don't see what would justify the killing of 900 human beings, to date. The good news today is that Israel might stop operations next week, so I guess we should expect about a minimum of 400 more dead? And more injured? So I guess we should be thankful that the end is just 7 days away, just 400 human away..

But the ethical question is not really about war, nor the killing of infants, nor if as long as it's a "war on terrorism" then it's ok to accept it as an excuse, or if a divided population deserves what they're getting anyway.. My question is: how ethical is it to use images of cadavers in news? How crucial is it really for the integrity of the news itself that you attach the picture of a decapitated child?

You may argue saying that people around the world need to see the ugliness of such a war. But do people really need to see blood to condemn? Did we lose all kind of common sense to incriminate any war in any part of the world, that we need to be addressed through our primary senses to raise reactions? That humans all over the planet can no longer be touched without seeing body parts in front of their eyes?

I agree that such violent images do create a mass reaction protesting against it (regardless of a counter-reaction), but what happens when the emotional reaction fades away? When the war is over? We cheer up and go back to our normal state of carefree?

I also agree that an image can be very expressive, and I agree that every human has the right to be informed.

I'm not against the use of war images, I'm just against the use of human corpse' images, for many reasons. One of those reasons is the fact that it just feels too commercial. As if it's a race to show the best picture with the corpse that would attract the most, to gain more readers, more viewers.

But mainly I'm against it out of respect for the body itself. The one of the eight dead kids of the Sammouni family, laying in the garbage one week after, or if the newspaper was paid a lot of respect, it would be used to clean windows. With the blood of those eight children, many ladies around my country would be cleaning their windows, or their coffee tables, in one week, or at most in two months.. For those who don't use newspapers as a cleaning tool, garbage would be the best place, in very few houses it would go to recyclable garbage bin..

I'm against the broadcasting of the agony of men laying under tons of cast, and then dying right there in front of viewers' eyes, so that we could zap later on to watch another episode of the dubbed Turkish series, or maybe another new hit to clear our mind off..

But I guess, I could protest as much as I want, at the end of the day, there are millions of people waiting for the next shocking picture from Gaza to riot about it, and on the other side there are networks always concerned about doing their job, and giving the audience what they want..

Just a thought: if my house was ever bombarded by a "barbaric enemy", and if I was killed, I would really appreciate it if you do me the honor of locking me away, of sparing me of human affection touched by my mutilated body..
Do me the honor of talking to people's minds instead of their hearts..

YOU and I

In every YOU, there's a little bit of me there..

In every thought about anyone else, outside of me, is somehow always related to me..
I'm not egocentric, or self-centered.. Or maybe I just am, maybe we all are.. After all, there are more than 6 billions of us now, so how come we choose a certain "YOU"s to look at rather than others?.. How come I choose you to write about, and you to think of, and you to ignore?

In every you, there's a little bit of me.. And in all of us together, there's a little bit of someone else.. Maybe this seems just gibberish, to a lot of you, but I'm sure, many others of you will know what I'm talking about..

And there's also a little bit of you..

Reality Check

I don't remember when was the first time I knew for sure that Santa Claus didn't exist. I guess I always had doubts, I always had questions like: What does he do the rest of the year? Where is his house on the map? How can he cross the whole world with one night? How come he's still alive? and so on.. So, it didn't come to me as a surprise when the time came and I've been informed that Santa is not real.

Then it was the time when I realized there was no tooth fairy. I wasn't surprised either, actually i was more glad. Everything related to dentists and teeth doesn't appeal to me.

Then the Easter Bunny. I never really understood what does the Easter Bunny do anyway, and i learned of his existence and non-existence in the same month.

But then it was time to realize that Superman is not real. I think this was one of the hardest things for me to believe. But then, like any grown up, I decided to accept the facts that deny his existence. And once again, i accepted that it's not real.

So I start 2009 by standing up for what I think is REAL. You can go away with all your facts, all your metrics, and all your statistics. For this year, I give up on being the realistic grown up, I give up on logic too. You can say I'm almost crazy, or maybe completely out of my mind, but you're no longer taking away from me what I feel is real.