Since it's been a while that I left this Diary, I feel it's important to remind myself of where I last stopped:
..."Oh will you stop swearing in the name of Earth?" a voice came out of the room! "Earth does not exist anymore, your life on Earth never existed before; you had the reasons before, but it's not about the reasons, never was about logic.. It's about you daring to cross that thin line between logic and utter madness, it's about you daring to change your choices!"
And all I can think to myself is: "are "They" talking to me?"
<<<<<< Dear Diary,
That was the defining moment of my life, the moment where I chose that AGONY might have the real joys of life, at least for me. The moment where I decided not to limit myself with common sense, since anyway, I was always senseless to the common.
And as my common sense was telling me to walk away from the room, and from the voice, I knew, in my crazy distorted logic, that I have to go in. That it's time to meet my fears, to meet those thoughts that were controlling my life, those standards set by "them". It's time to meet "them". So I walked in.
I don't know if my general sense of dark humor that made me laugh, or if it was just my greatest disappointment acting up! I expected to walk into something scary, and I walked in to find a parrot. A beautiful parrot, a colorful one if I may say. I've never seen on LaLa land any other form of living creatures. It was just a parrot making me live the illusion of life here, and the memory of life there.
I thought I existed, back on Earth. I still think I exist here on LaLa Land, but is this reason enough to mean that I'm really here? That I was really there?
I asked the Parrot, but apparently, he never had any answers, he only had these last words: "I'm not here to answer new questions, I'm here to remind you of your own old answers".. He reminded me of nothing! Except, perhaps, that trip to the zoo. I still can't tell if it was on Earth, or if it was here..
But since my common sense was guiding me to dig more and more about the parrot, I decided to let it go, follow my madness, and just take the parrot as it is, put it on my shoulder, take a deep breath and step out of the room..