The night passes slowly.. Slower than usual, these days.. As if it's offering me all the time I need in the day, tempting me to go back to its realm, to my nocturnal life. But the day is when people live, and I chose a different path now, less lonely, less dark. Yet, creatures of the day seem to be more frightening than the ones of the night. Everything is more simple in the darkness, everything can happen in the darkness, with no consequences, with no thoughts of a tomorrow, with no thoughts of others. No judgment, just you and the night, conspiring against the world, winning all the battles.
But I'm a day person now.. So long all the battles I won, so long all the stars I burnt.. All the nocturnal efforts to lure me are in vain.. Only one thing left to say: Good Night!
2.22.2010
2.17.2010
Between insomnia and paranoia..
There's nothing worse when you write than the first sentence, this sentence.. The sentence were I should grab your attention to follow through until the last word. But tonight I don't care if you read or not.. I just write to distract myself from the noise of my neighbor's AC! Not that it's working, but at least seeing this white space getting filled with characters, meaningless as they are, is easier and less mentally disturbing than laying in bed, eyes wide open, counting the rounds of the engine humming, loud I may add..
Tonight, I don't write about grief, nor sorrow, I just write about frustration. Frustration and insomnia. About the trillions of thoughts that run through your head just when you need your mind to be clear. And all those yoga classes that should be paying off by helping you concentrate, by helping you organize.
The funny thing about "disturbia" is that when you experience a moment of peace, you're not relieved! You simply get paranoid, wondering what's the real problem now, and waiting for that humming to go back to assure you that everything is back to normal; and that you'll experience another night of insomnia, of frustration, and eventually of insanity..
And the best is yet to come..
Tonight, I don't write about grief, nor sorrow, I just write about frustration. Frustration and insomnia. About the trillions of thoughts that run through your head just when you need your mind to be clear. And all those yoga classes that should be paying off by helping you concentrate, by helping you organize.
The funny thing about "disturbia" is that when you experience a moment of peace, you're not relieved! You simply get paranoid, wondering what's the real problem now, and waiting for that humming to go back to assure you that everything is back to normal; and that you'll experience another night of insomnia, of frustration, and eventually of insanity..
And the best is yet to come..
1.16.2010
Sorry, but: There IS a difference between Christians and Muslims
Every day or two, I receive a request on Facebook to join a group dedicated to all those who love God, or to all those who love the prophet, or to the first 1000 who love the prophet, or to those who are against differences between Muslims and Christians, or that group about uniting Muslims and Christians, or those who hate Israel, or those who want to save Palestinians, or those who want to change the image of Islam by "showing the world how real Islam is" on Facebook walls. I'm sure that there are plenty of those groups for all religions, and all types of religious conflicts, but since My circle of friends happen to be centered in the Arab world, I receive mostly those who "tackle", if that's what they think they're doing, the Muslim-Christian issues, or the Israel-Palestine issues.
Of course, like all other requests, they annoy me. In fact the only groups I join are for those supporting young talents from my friends, or a friend's friend who opened a restaurant. Not that I've been in any of them, or seen the work of any of them, but it's just to show some support. And I leave other 1000 people other than me, show their love to this or that.
But what really strike me most of the times are those very patriotic group, who tend to show how solidly united citizens are (especially in Lebanon) by saying "there's no difference between Muslims and Christians" or vice versa. I just don't see how that can help people come closer together. This slogan of "no difference" what does it really bring to people? Why isn't it "there is a difference, hell yeah! But that's not the problem"? Is it just me who really strives to be unique in my own way in a world of over 6 Billion people? Or is there other people who also are proud of their differences? But anyway, it's not about individualism. It's about ideologies.
So what is exactly the problem if two religions are different? What is the problem if someone is a non believer and the other is a believer? In What way does that make one or the other less human? The problem is not the difference, the problem is the tendency of people to alienate everything that is different from them. First, they run to label themselves in groups, then they try to make everyone else seem stupid for not seeing that they're the right group, the chosen one. Then oh chosen ones, decide to be generous with people, in order to help them find peace, or sometimes to be in peace themselves, and they pretend that we are not different. That we all believe in the same thing, that we are alike.
What I still don't understand, is why do we label people based on beliefs? And why do we strive to be unique, then kill it all by wanting unity, by resorting to similarity. This need to belong, to be homogeneous, to be part of something bigger, to be part of a group. This basic human need that made the first man carve in a stone to create a statute to worship, to feel that he's not alone. This need, is really something intriguing, in this is what still stands, after years and years of evolution.
Of course, like all other requests, they annoy me. In fact the only groups I join are for those supporting young talents from my friends, or a friend's friend who opened a restaurant. Not that I've been in any of them, or seen the work of any of them, but it's just to show some support. And I leave other 1000 people other than me, show their love to this or that.
But what really strike me most of the times are those very patriotic group, who tend to show how solidly united citizens are (especially in Lebanon) by saying "there's no difference between Muslims and Christians" or vice versa. I just don't see how that can help people come closer together. This slogan of "no difference" what does it really bring to people? Why isn't it "there is a difference, hell yeah! But that's not the problem"? Is it just me who really strives to be unique in my own way in a world of over 6 Billion people? Or is there other people who also are proud of their differences? But anyway, it's not about individualism. It's about ideologies.
So what is exactly the problem if two religions are different? What is the problem if someone is a non believer and the other is a believer? In What way does that make one or the other less human? The problem is not the difference, the problem is the tendency of people to alienate everything that is different from them. First, they run to label themselves in groups, then they try to make everyone else seem stupid for not seeing that they're the right group, the chosen one. Then oh chosen ones, decide to be generous with people, in order to help them find peace, or sometimes to be in peace themselves, and they pretend that we are not different. That we all believe in the same thing, that we are alike.
What I still don't understand, is why do we label people based on beliefs? And why do we strive to be unique, then kill it all by wanting unity, by resorting to similarity. This need to belong, to be homogeneous, to be part of something bigger, to be part of a group. This basic human need that made the first man carve in a stone to create a statute to worship, to feel that he's not alone. This need, is really something intriguing, in this is what still stands, after years and years of evolution.
1.01.2010
Happy 2010
It's a habit at the end of a year to look back as you look forward.. 2009 was a long year with a long list of changes, of disappointments, and of achievements as well..
2009 taught me that I love my country more than I thought I did. It also taught me that there's a big world outside the door, and you will never understand, and you will never understand how big it is.. So no need to waste your time..
Speaking of time, 2009 taught me the value of a second. A second spent with the love of your life, a second spent away from home, a second wasted in patience. It taught me that time is a marvelous concept, unique in the way you lose it as soon as you have it.. And you waste it just when you need it..
Need, is what you should be careful about. Never be in need of a selfish person even though being very independent will not get you more than loneliness. Know that you need some people, and that you need to ignore others.
Others are just those you don't even need to remember their name. They are this parasite that annoys you at times, and could suck the blood out of you at others. But you will often find the right antibiotic.
A right antibiotic can also be the right life partner. They do have their own magic powers capable of curing you of all the boredom in the world, all the depression, and can easily resolve, with one tender look, your deepest dilemmas.
One of the dilemmas I encountered in 2009 is the dilemma of whether to use the first cabin in the toilet or the last one. A lot of people use the first cabin of the toilet because it's the first. But then, a lot of people believe that since a lot of people think the first is most used, they use others instead, so in the end a lot of people avoid using the first which makes it the cleaner one. So is the first one really the best choice in terms of hygiene or the worst?
Worst moment of 2009 was when I ended up alone in a country I don't really like, suffering stagnation and vulgarity, far from the person I want to spend my life with, and far from the people I spent my life with up until 2009..
Up until 2009 I thought that when people shake their head and say "no problem", it means that they got your point and are going to proceed. Apparently it's not.
It's not a rumour: I am getting married in 2010; 2009 was a good year on the personal level even if it's disastrous on the professional one.
One - Just because someone keeps repeating that they're your friend, it doesn't mean they really are.
Two - Just because some people like to hear themselves, it doesn't mean I like to hear them too.
Three - just because you feel left out, it doesn't mean you're second best. A Number one donut is not in competition with a Number one coffee..
Four - If you don't feel like growing up, don't force yourself, just don't expect people to treat you like an adult either.
Five, my most valuable advice for 2009: never order a spaghetti in a Filipino restaurant!
2009 taught me that I love my country more than I thought I did. It also taught me that there's a big world outside the door, and you will never understand, and you will never understand how big it is.. So no need to waste your time..
Speaking of time, 2009 taught me the value of a second. A second spent with the love of your life, a second spent away from home, a second wasted in patience. It taught me that time is a marvelous concept, unique in the way you lose it as soon as you have it.. And you waste it just when you need it..
Need, is what you should be careful about. Never be in need of a selfish person even though being very independent will not get you more than loneliness. Know that you need some people, and that you need to ignore others.
Others are just those you don't even need to remember their name. They are this parasite that annoys you at times, and could suck the blood out of you at others. But you will often find the right antibiotic.
A right antibiotic can also be the right life partner. They do have their own magic powers capable of curing you of all the boredom in the world, all the depression, and can easily resolve, with one tender look, your deepest dilemmas.
One of the dilemmas I encountered in 2009 is the dilemma of whether to use the first cabin in the toilet or the last one. A lot of people use the first cabin of the toilet because it's the first. But then, a lot of people believe that since a lot of people think the first is most used, they use others instead, so in the end a lot of people avoid using the first which makes it the cleaner one. So is the first one really the best choice in terms of hygiene or the worst?
Worst moment of 2009 was when I ended up alone in a country I don't really like, suffering stagnation and vulgarity, far from the person I want to spend my life with, and far from the people I spent my life with up until 2009..
Up until 2009 I thought that when people shake their head and say "no problem", it means that they got your point and are going to proceed. Apparently it's not.
It's not a rumour: I am getting married in 2010; 2009 was a good year on the personal level even if it's disastrous on the professional one.
One - Just because someone keeps repeating that they're your friend, it doesn't mean they really are.
Two - Just because some people like to hear themselves, it doesn't mean I like to hear them too.
Three - just because you feel left out, it doesn't mean you're second best. A Number one donut is not in competition with a Number one coffee..
Four - If you don't feel like growing up, don't force yourself, just don't expect people to treat you like an adult either.
Five, my most valuable advice for 2009: never order a spaghetti in a Filipino restaurant!
12.31.2009
Google Translate Unblocked in Bahrain
I don't know if it was a coincidence, but I sent the below email as my first step to unblock google translate in Bahrain. And then I come back on the 28th of December to find it unblocked.. I thought it would be harder than this.. I was planning petitions and advertising campaign.. But then again it could be only a coincidence.. What's important is that it's unblocked :)
12/12/09
to webmaster@info.gov.bh
date Dec 12, 2009 1:45 AM
subject Inquiry!!
mailed-by gmail.com
Dear Sirs,
I would like to inquire about the rules and regulations of the Kingdom of Bahrain that require the blocking of the site Google.Translate. I would like to understand the legal violations that this valuable tool present for it to be blocked by your respected Ministry.
I would really appreciate your clarification and your cooperation.
Best Regards,
Rawaa Kalassina
Resident in Bahrain
to webmaster@info.gov.bh
date Dec 12, 2009 1:45 AM
subject Inquiry!!
mailed-by gmail.com
Dear Sirs,
I would like to inquire about the rules and regulations of the Kingdom of Bahrain that require the blocking of the site Google.Translate. I would like to understand the legal violations that this valuable tool present for it to be blocked by your respected Ministry.
I would really appreciate your clarification and your cooperation.
Best Regards,
Rawaa Kalassina
Resident in Bahrain
12.12.2009
The other side of the mirror and google translate..
Yeah Yeah I said good night one hour ago.. but I'm still here.. This new medicine is making my head spin at the moment, but I have just missed writing so much.. Plus, I have a lot of things to say.
A loyal reader of my blog, one who believes i'm very sad because of how I write, have recently advised to talk about the city I live in. The things I see, things that are not as dark as what I describe, not as lost as they are. I appreciated the advice, and yes, I have thought about it.. I even took some pictures of things I wanted to comment about.. But, and it's a big BUT actually, it's just not me. I'm not a sad person either, for those who think that i'm someone in a constant depression I really am not. Of course I live ups and downs, but in general I was always content with my life, and most recently I became really happy with the way things are going, despite my constant nagging about my stay in Bahrain.
Well, if you were in bahrain with the type of salary I have, and the lifestyle I have, and the "entourage", you would complain too. However, tonight, I decided to do something good for Bahrain, before leaving it, sooner or later. I decided to petition for the unblocking of google translate! or at least a redirection to another online translator that the Ministry of Information would judge compliant with the laws and rules of the Kingdom of Bahrain. Not that I ever understood what's the problem with google translate! And I decided to complain also about the request form for unblocking sites that doesn't work. You click on a site, you get the message "this site is blocked as it does not comply with the rules and regulations of the Kingdom of Bahrain", then a small button saying "If you feel that this site should be unblocked please click here". You click, you get a form, you write your heart out justifying why this site is completely ethical, you click submit, then you get a message "sorry this service is not available at the moment, please try again later". After 7 months of trying, I came to a logical conclusion that it just doesn't work. So maybe someone should care and fix it.
Since the idea just started an hour ago, the plan is not really clear. Yet! But, I will petition the unblocking of Google Translate!
As for the flow of this blog.. cannot say it will remain dark, nor it will become cheerful. It was always a mix of ups and downs, but the downs better expressed.. It's just the way it is, and it's not about me, nor about you, it's just about a world, where some things are more highlighted than others. Where some things like to come to light, and others prefer to stay hidden.
"Build it and they will come".. And so this is what this is, a world where some people can feel completely normal to be lost and confused, to be sad for no reason, and to rejoice when they mourn.. Where they can see that someone has been there, someone is there, and someone is not.. The other side of the mirror, with their true selves, and my petition to get Google Translate back!
A loyal reader of my blog, one who believes i'm very sad because of how I write, have recently advised to talk about the city I live in. The things I see, things that are not as dark as what I describe, not as lost as they are. I appreciated the advice, and yes, I have thought about it.. I even took some pictures of things I wanted to comment about.. But, and it's a big BUT actually, it's just not me. I'm not a sad person either, for those who think that i'm someone in a constant depression I really am not. Of course I live ups and downs, but in general I was always content with my life, and most recently I became really happy with the way things are going, despite my constant nagging about my stay in Bahrain.
Well, if you were in bahrain with the type of salary I have, and the lifestyle I have, and the "entourage", you would complain too. However, tonight, I decided to do something good for Bahrain, before leaving it, sooner or later. I decided to petition for the unblocking of google translate! or at least a redirection to another online translator that the Ministry of Information would judge compliant with the laws and rules of the Kingdom of Bahrain. Not that I ever understood what's the problem with google translate! And I decided to complain also about the request form for unblocking sites that doesn't work. You click on a site, you get the message "this site is blocked as it does not comply with the rules and regulations of the Kingdom of Bahrain", then a small button saying "If you feel that this site should be unblocked please click here". You click, you get a form, you write your heart out justifying why this site is completely ethical, you click submit, then you get a message "sorry this service is not available at the moment, please try again later". After 7 months of trying, I came to a logical conclusion that it just doesn't work. So maybe someone should care and fix it.
Since the idea just started an hour ago, the plan is not really clear. Yet! But, I will petition the unblocking of Google Translate!
As for the flow of this blog.. cannot say it will remain dark, nor it will become cheerful. It was always a mix of ups and downs, but the downs better expressed.. It's just the way it is, and it's not about me, nor about you, it's just about a world, where some things are more highlighted than others. Where some things like to come to light, and others prefer to stay hidden.
"Build it and they will come".. And so this is what this is, a world where some people can feel completely normal to be lost and confused, to be sad for no reason, and to rejoice when they mourn.. Where they can see that someone has been there, someone is there, and someone is not.. The other side of the mirror, with their true selves, and my petition to get Google Translate back!
10.30.2009
Detachment
There are days when you're just not in the mood to be happy, not in the mood to act alive.. Even when you have every reason in the world to rejoice..
Your common sense tells you you're abnormal, but you couldn't care less.. All you have in mind is this grey shade you're longing to indulge yourself in..
All you have in mind is this absolute pause, this life put on hold, and all these feelings tucked in a neutral zone. A zone of.. Nothingness..
Just like an autumn leaf detaching from a tree, and twirling in the void..
Slowly dancing in celebration for falling into nothing but an absolute nothingness..
Your common sense tells you you're abnormal, but you couldn't care less.. All you have in mind is this grey shade you're longing to indulge yourself in..
All you have in mind is this absolute pause, this life put on hold, and all these feelings tucked in a neutral zone. A zone of.. Nothingness..
Just like an autumn leaf detaching from a tree, and twirling in the void..
Slowly dancing in celebration for falling into nothing but an absolute nothingness..
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